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Happy White People New Year

 As many of you know, I celebrate Chinese New Year, not this one. Still, it's important enough to comment on. 

I'm wondering about your resolutions and how successful those have been. 

For me, this year, I'm doing the dry January thing and giving up smoking again. I restarted smoking when a friend, Justin, got me back into it after I survived a near-deadly hornet sting in June. Yes, I was almost killed by a bee sting. Didn't know I was allergic. EMTs took 45 minutes to get to me, took 2 epipens to save me. Docs at the ER said I was 5 minutes from death. Since then, I've had a ton of medical issues. A week after the sting my primary care follow-up sent me back to the er for more testing and monitoring, it was that bad.  

Dr. Manning (UPMC) said an allergic reaction like that can kick-start latent medical issues. He thinks I have MS. He's seen it before with my symptom cluster. 

Thankfully a few of my symptoms have lessened in severity, even as others have become more severe. I struggle with all of it. Makes you think about the fragility of life. 

At the time of the sting, upon release from ER, I realized that I was letting go. I didn't care. I was okay with dying. I had had a good run I told myself. And I have. 

Yes, there are things yet to live for, see my kids graduate, get married, grandkids...but none of that is particularly interesting to me for some reason. I just let go and waited to die when I was waiting for the EMTs. 

I took smoking back up and despite it, my breathing, and swallowing symptoms have thankfully improved. I am left to wonder if it was the stress of my relationship that was killing me, causing these problems by stress alone. Could it be? Why not. 

I tried telling Sarah that I felt the way I did waiting or the EMTs. She deflected the conversation and got drunk. She wouldn't talk to me about it. I felt like I was falling into my darkest hour (megadeth song awesomeness). I feel like now I'm coming out of it. I hope this new year marks an end to that hour. 

I wish all of you a better year in 2023, the last two or three have been terrible and rough for us all. The Biden administration hasn't done anything to improve it either. Records show he's only made it all worse. Not to get political, I doubt anyone else the other party had handy could have done better. 

Neither team has a good option in the hopper to give us the next election. Write me in, I'll get it fixed best I can, I'm looking at my legacy, knowing I can die any time. I'm beholden to no power, party or dogma. 

Anyway, don't want to be political. Thinking about a new year, new life, a new chance. I served this country for more than 20 years, I want to make it better, for all of us. I came from poverty, I don't want my kids the be stuck there, I want them to have a chance. Same for you and yours. 

Funny story, tried to get a date for Xmas party, no luck. Tried for NYE, no luck. Dating sites suck, most out there are scammers looking to make a buck off vulnerable people trying to find romance. Sad. The people that run the sites need to be investigated. 

But, a happy new year to all, I'm watching Titanic with my dog, then the Mist comes on next. Why not. Then maybe Jason X for giggles on the way to sleep. At least I get my kids tomorrow and can enjoy a day with them. 

Good luck in 2023 all! 


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